Three Tips For Better Listening

Listening is the most underutilized communication skill. Some of us think a business or networking conversation is like being a contestant on Jeopardy. We are waiting for that moment when the speaker stops, so we jump in and talk, or we are so busy thinking about what we will say that we are not listening to the other person's view.

Here are three tips for better listening:‍

Tip 1- Set up the Right Atmosphere‍

Being fully engaged is the right approach. It is best to focus on the speaker to understand why they are saying it and their end goal - to enable you to meet the person's needs. You need to make sure that you are not distracted. This may mean shutting off message pings, silencing your phone, and providing space for the interaction. A colleague once told me one of the most impactful things I had ever done for her as she came into my office and said she needed to talk to me about something important. I turned my computer screen away and moved my keyboard so I would not be distracted. If you are an obsessed multitasker, you should consider not taking a device with you if having it will distract you.

‍Tip 2-To Listen, You Need to Ask.‍

Listening takes patience. I have seen people physically contain themselves to prevent them from interrupting the speaker and taking over the conversation. When you behave this way, your audience thinks you do not care about what they are saying or their needs so they may shut down or, worse, not listen to your viewpoint. You, therefore, must breathe, have engaged body language, and focus on and appreciate the other views before you.‍ You need to also ask about what they are not saying.

Not having the information can limit your ability to provide spot-on and innovative advice. You jump to a black-and-white answer rather than thinking more creatively and offering an alternative solution based on the information unique to that situation.

‍Tip 3- Be Curious, Don't Jump to Conclusions.‍

Listening is even more critical when you disagree with the other person. In these situations, we all, especially Type A personalities, are honing our arguments and readying to react. Again, take a minute, pause, and listen to the view - and then remember that this person is coming from a place of good intentions. Take the time to understand from the person's perspective.

You may disagree, but that does not mean the person is evil. It would be best if you also acknowledged the person's position and why they think that in these circumstances and then explained why the person may want to consider other factors or views. Doing this allows you to listen and be more open to finding common ground. This approach creates a welcoming environment with open communication and may lead to compromise and resolution.

Listening is also critical when you are receiving feedback. Feedback, as we all know, can be challenging to hear and act on. As I have mentioned, it is easier to grow if you get feedback. Again, remember that the input comes from a place of good and listen to it, and then take some time to digest it and think about it.‍ And remember to ask questions, so that you understand the feedback and how to act on it.

Listening is a superpower that can propel you forward and make you more impactful. Are you ready to lend an ear?

‍

‍

********************

Want to advance and have a more powerful impact?

Take a look at my guide which outlines the 7 Steps to Leap from In-House Technician to Legal Leader

In this guide, I share my time-tested strategy for in-house counsel to leap from in-house technician to legal leader so you can have greater impact and control of your career, compensation, and courage.